Naruto in Wonderland
by Kiara.Kaze
Summary: Contains a couple of my friend's and my characters. The ninja get trapped inside a wall of mist found in the middle of the desert on a mission. What's going on?
1. Chapter 1

**I must admit, I have not actually read all the way through the Alice in Wonderland books, but I have watched the (old) animated movie, where the Cheshire Cat was pink and purple.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Alice in Wonderland, nor Naruto, so don't even pretend that I do. ^_^ **

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"Are you kidding me?" An extremely busty, short young woman screeched. "You've sent teams out there for the past three months, and still no reply?"

"Relax, Kiara-chan!" An even bustier older woman commanded.

The young woman, Kiara, took a deep breath, closing her blue eyes for a moment. She shook out her brown hair in irritation. "I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama," she muttered, looking away from her superior. She tugged on the tie loosely tied around the collar of her white button up shirt and straightened her black vest.

Tsunade sighed, adjusting her bust in her tightly fit top. "I understand your frustration, Kiara-chan," she began. "And I realize I should have sent your team to begin with, but there were so many missions piling up that requested your team specifically, I started sending others."

"How many did you send before us?" Kiara asked, taking a calming breath.

"Four teams of four each," Tsunade answered calmly.

Kiara's eyes widened, almost popping out of her head and her mouth dropped open. "WHAT?" She screeched. Tsunade covered her ears, wincing. "HOW COULD YOU SEND FOUR SUPERFLUOUS TEAMS?" Kiara scolded, trying not to rip her own hair out.

"Wow, big word, Kia-chan," a young woman called from the window. Kiara looked up to see her best friend, Kaze, lounging on the windowsill, smirking at her. "What's going on?" Kaze asked, her green eyes filled with amusement. "I could hear you from our house."

"And I could hear you from mine," a young man said, popping up on the other side of Kaze's lap.

"How'd you get up here, Sai?" Kaze asked, frowning at the black haired man. Sai looked up at her with emotionless black eyes before climbing over her lap like a long, pale spider.

"I saw you scaling the wall when I came to see what Kaira-chan was howling about and decided to follow," Sai answered, straightening his cut off shirt, which showed his stomach and lacked a sleeve, with gloved hands, both gloves showing just his first finger and thumb.

Kiara frowned at her male teammate as he fake-smiled at her. "Don't call me that," she ordered just as Kaze hit him. Kiara studied her best friend, noticing her outfit again that day. Kaze was wearing black jeans, which were long enough to cover her long legs completely, and Kiara wondered where she had gotten them made. Kaze also had on a black jean jacket with belts and pockets randomly placed across it and, at the moment, it was completely unbuttoned, showing a belt hanging loosely from the right side of her waist to past her left hip and a simple black tank top. Without seeing them, Kiara knew Kaze was wearing her favorite black boots with belts, buckles, and zippers, and her wrist and ankle bands. Kiara also noticed that Kaze had her hair tied up in a high ponytail again, refusing to let her calf-length hair hang loose.

Kiara then looked down at her own clothes, ignoring Kaze and Sai's bickering as she often did and took in her own hastily donned clothes. A knee-length, pleated, black skirt with a red plaid hem matched her black vest and red plaid tie and she'd gone with safe footwear that day, simple black sandals. Kaze had picked out that specific tie, skirt, and vest, but Kiara had many outfits similar, most not quite as colorful. She'd allowed Kaze to braid a small piece of her waist-long brown hair the night before and hadn't yet pulled the tight braid out. It still looked neat that morning, so Kiara had put up with it. She looked down again, not bending over as far as she had before, and had a mild panic. _Did my boobs grow more? I can't see my toes!_ She thought, sighing.

Kaze and Kiara both had a pair of dangly wolf earrings and a pair of dangly cat earrings, which they wore every day in their multi-pierced ears. Kiara had her ears pierced only twice, while Kaze had hers pierced a total of four times, so she had also added silver dangly hoops in her lobs and thicker black hoops in each of her cartilage piercing.

"Hey, Kia-chan!" Kaze called, standing immediately in front of her friend. "You spacing?" Kiara jumped, not expecting the close proximity, before nodding sheepishly.

"Just wondering why our Hokage sent _**four**_teams in our place and not _**one**_ sent a report recently," Kiara lied quickly.

Kaze turned quickly on Tsunade. "Who!" She commanded, now angry. Tsunade flinched before straightening.

"Did you want specific names, or just teams?" She asked, frowning. Kaze narrowed her eyes and Tsunade continued quickly. "Gai, Neji, Lee, Ten Ten, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Kurenai, Shikamaru, Choji, Ino, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke... and Iruka," she said quickly. Kaze and Kiara groaned when hearing the names.

"Well, I admit you sent the best," Kaze said reluctantly as Kiara screeched, "Kiba and Iruka? You sent them?! What were you thinking?!"

Kaze's eye twitched in annoyance. "Ookami!" She snapped at Kiara. "Be calm!" Kiara flinched and fell silent, breathing deeply. "So, you decided to send us three?" Kaze asked Tsunade, waving at herself, Kiara, and Sai.

"Yes, along with Anko," Tsunade answered, waving a woman in. Kaze sighed silently, hiding her frustration.

Anko was another overly busty woman; she wore a black mini-skirt, black boots, and a sand-colored jacket, which fell to her skirt length. She had dark hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and mischievous black eyes.

"Hey, shorties!" She called, using the nickname she'd given the two girls when they were young, even though both girls were either at or had already surpassed her height.

"Hello, Anko-san!" Kiara said, feigning happiness. In truth, both girls could just barely stand the older woman. She was loud and liked to drink, even on missions, which made both girls tired.

"Here's your mission," Tsunade said, handing the report to Kaze, who memorized it before passing it on to Sai. Sai also memorized it before he passed it to Kiara. She and Anko looked it over and Anko stuffed it in her bag. "Are you all ready?" Tsunade asked, knowing full well that each team member packed bags in advance for missions such as this one. Each member nodded and Tsunade waved them away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto nor the characters or Alice in Wonderland.**

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Anko led the team out the gate, each having grabbed their pre-packed bags. "So, what's happening, exactly?" Anko asked the three of them. "All I know is that Iruka and his team left first, then Gai, and Kurenai and Kakashi left at the same time."

Kiara frowned, huffing behind the other three, who'd been pulling ahead of her. "We don't need to go so fast!" She whined as Kaze slowed her pace. "We shouldn't get their tired!"

Kaze laughed and turned back to Anko. "From what the report said, each team made it to the first report, then they disappeared," she said, remembering the folder. "Shino sent a few bugs ahead before the report and mentioned at thick mist out in the middle of the desert, but other than that, they were all basically the same: No trouble, rested for the night, continuing on." She sighed, frustrated.

"It seems that we had gotten some intelligence about a missing-nin in the area we are heading," Sai continued. "So Hokage-sama sent ninja to capture him."

"And so far our village has failed," Kiara finished glumly.

"Until she finally decided to send us!" Kaze said brightly. "We haven't failed a mission yet, and we won't let this be our first!"

Kiara smiled slightly. "You have a high opinion of yourself, don't you Kaze-cha?" Sai asked innocently.

"I'm stating a fact, Sai-chi," Kaze snapped back. "And we shouldn't depress ourselves before we even get there. Negative thinking will lead to a negative outcome!" Sai frowned slightly, but didn't reply.

The four of them continued walking on until night. By the time they found the inn all the other teams had stayed at, the group had passed through the forest and into the sand. The village they stopped in for the night was on the edge of the desert and, before they left the next day, the group made sure to restock their bags in case they there wasn't another village for a few more days.

Kiara put together a report for Tsunade and sent it with a messenger, telling him he'd be paid when he gave it to Tsunade. He left and the group left the inn.

"This is where the other teams were seen last," Sai said blandly, still managing to cause goose bumps to crawl up Kiara's spine. "After this report, we may never be seen ag-" Kaze put her hand over his mouth to stop him from finishing his thought.

"You're creeping me out!" Kaze announced, shouldering her back. "So shut up!" Sai nodded calmly and Kaze removed her hand from his mouth.

"All ready?" Anko asked, smiling brightly at the younger team members. Kaze raised an eyebrow at her, but all three nodded and they set off.

The sand was still cool while the sun tried to rise over the horizon. "So where is this wall of mist?" Sai asked Kaze.

"I don't know," Kaze snapped.

"Didn't your best friend say there was a wall of mist?" Sai asked.

"That's what was in the report, Kaze answered. "You would know that if you had paid attention when reading it."

Kiara laughed as Sai's eyes widened at the insult. Then Kiara gasped. Not too far away, to the left of them, a huge wall of mist rose out of the ground. "Um, there it is...?" She said uncertainly, pointing across Kaze at the wall.

Kaze grinned smugly at Sai. "See? Wall. Of. Mist." Sai shook his head and they changed direction to head towards the mist.

When they reached the mist, Sai put his hand out to it and his hand sank into the mist. "It feels thick," he announced, stepping forward into it. "Well? Let's go!" The other three followed him. Once all four were inside, they lost sight of each other.

Kiara stopped. "Kaze-sama?" She called timidly. A hand grabbed her own and she shrieked.

"I'm right here, Kia!" Kaze yelled, flinching away. "I've got Sai-chi also, but I lost Anko-san."

"Yes, I am here," Sai said from Kaze's other side.

"Oh, good," Kiara replied, sighing in relief. "I wasn't sure if I would have to go through this all by myself."

Well, let's keep going," Kaze suggested, pulling her two teammates with her.

The three continued walking, occasionally stumbling on roots and branches. "Wait..." Kiara mused out loud. "Why are there roots in the desert?"

"Huh, what are you-Sai!" Kaze yelled, tugging Kiara's hand.

"What happened?" Kiara asked in panic.

"He let go of my hand and now I can't find him!" Kaze answered. "Sai!" She yelled again.

"Over here!" Sai called from ahead of them. "I think I found the other side! It's-WHAT IS THIS?" Sai hollered. Kaze and Kiara hurried forward, stomping on any branches or roots that threatened to trip them.

The two girls broke through the mist, stumbling slightly in the unexpected light. Kiara looked around and saw green. Somehow, they'd ended up in a forest. "Kaze, how did we get here?" Kiara asked in awe.

"I. Don't. Know," Kaze answered through her teeth.

"Why are you-" Kiara began as she turned to her friend. Then she froze mid-sentence, her eyes going wide. Kaze still stood next to her, angry-looking as ever. However, she had a slight flush on her face, and for good reason.

Kaze now wore black leather. A long sleeved, cut-off, unzipped leather jacket, black leather pants sitting below her jutting hip bones, and black boots very much like her favorite ones. The unzipped jacket showed a black sports bra underneath, but what caught Kiara's eye first was what was between the cut-off jacket and low-sitting pants: Kaze's pale, flat stomach.

"Y-you're stomach," Kiara squeaked, looking up at Kaze's face. Then she froze again, jaw dropping. Kaze's hair was down. Moreover, she had bright white rabbit ears poking out of her hair and whiskers twitching on her face.

"S-stop staring!" Kaze ordered, flushing darker. Kiara looked at Kaze's stomach again and giggled. "What?" Kaze snapped.

"When you blush, your stomach turns pink!" Kiara giggled. Kaze frowned, still blushing.

"You shouldn't pick on Kaze-cha, Kaira-chan," Sai's voice reprimanded from above them. "She's wearing the same clothes that those girls wear in those magazines Kakashi-san buys sometimes." Kaze flushed even darker and glared up at Sai. Kiara looked up also, over Kiara's head and saw Sai lounging in a tree, and she broke down in giggles again.

Sai still wore his regular clothes, except now they were striped pink and purple. He also had a long, pink-and-purple striped cat tail twitching from his backside and pink-and-purple striped cat ears. "You're a cat!" Kiara giggled. Kaze had turned around to glare at Sai and Kiara erupted into full-blown laughter. Poking out above Kaze's low pants was a fluffy white rabbit tail. Kaze blushed again, covering the tail with one hand and grabbing an ear with another, sending a pleading look at Kiara.

"Q-quit laughing, Kia-chan!" She whined.

"You're. So. Cute!" Kiara squealed, bursting into laughter again.

"W-well, look down at y-yourself!" Kaze yelled, still blushing.

Kiara looked down and screamed. She was wearing a light blue apron dress that came to way above her knees. The dress just barely covered her butt, but didn't drop down any lower than that. Her chest was accentuated with white and the dress was skin-tight, making her look bustier than she was. She was also wearing knee-high white socks with blue bows at the top and black Mary Jane shoes.

"What am I wearing?" She shrieked, trying to pull the skirt down and the bust up, managing nothing in the process. Instead her hands flew to her head to check for any strange ears and found a satin bow sitting on top of her head.

"A dress," Sai answered helpfully. "You, too, look like one of those girls on the cover of one of Kakashi-san's magazines." Kiara glared up at him and yelped in surprise. He was gone from the waist down. Sai looked at himself in surprise. "I'm disappearing," he stated.

Kaze sighed as Kiara began to shriek again. "Calm down Kia!" Kaze roared, effectively quietly Kiara. "I think I understand why we're dressed like this," she began. Kiara nodded, casting a worried glance at Sai, who was gone from the shoulders down. Kaze pushed an ear out of her face in frustration, this reminds me of the book _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_." Kiara nodded, panicking as Sai disappeared completely. He then popped back into existence, standing next to Kaze. "Sai here is the Cheshire Cat, I am the White Rabbit, and you seem to be Alice," Kaze finished, sighing.

"So... What do we do now?" Kiara asked, looking around.

"Well, in the book, Alice," she turned to Kiara, "that's you, was always chasing after the White Rabbit, that's me, with help from others, including the Cheshire Cat, which is him." Kaze shrugged. "So, follow the White Rabbit!" She jumped into a tree with ease and Kiara ran to catch up.


	3. Chapter 3

**I must warn you: In this chapter I gave Shino an eye color. I know he never takes off those glasses, but my friend an I were writing stories and he needed an eye color. So we made one up. Sorry. And there is maaaajor out of character-ness going on, so be prepared. Sasuke isn't a little emo boy anymore. Oh, and I never mentioned this... But they're all 19. At least... I dont' think I mentioned it... Hmm.... Anywho, review please? *Offers cookie***

**Disclaimer: Still. Don't own Naruto and the characters. I kinda want Shino though. Don't own Alice in Wonderland either. And Shikamaru. *nods* Yea.**

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"Where's your coat and stuff?" Kiara called, trying to focus her chakra.

"Don't have 'em," Kaze called back. "I don't have any of the weights on me, so I'm at my full speed and all that." Kaze's coat, belt, armbands, and ankle bands all secretly carried a vast amount of weight each, which Kaze'd been wearing and slowly increasing since they were small. The weights kept her strong, so when she didn't have them on and didn't use any chakra to power her punches, she was stronger than Kiara when Kiara used chakra.

"Um... Kaze?" Kiara called. Kaze looked down at her questioningly. "I can't seem to use my chakra!" Kiara began to panic. Sai and Kaze tried to use theirs, affirming that it was impossible.

"Guess we're doing this the old fashioned way, Kia," Kaze, snickered. "Follow the White Rabbit!" She called over her shoulder, dashing off.

Kiara and Sai ran after her, Kai flickering quickly from branch to branch. "Why can he do that?" Kiara whined breathlessly.

"He's the Cheshire Cat!" Kaze answered, stopping just inside Kiara's vision. "It's just what he can do."

Kiara pouted, chasing after Kaze. A minute later, Kiara tripped, falling flat on her face. "What happened, Kia?" Kaze called, jumping to the tree above Kiara.

"I-I'm so sorry!" A breathy female voice cried from under Kiara. Kiara jumped up, adjusting her dress, and looked down to see a girl with long purple hair face down on the ground. She looked up at Kiara with light purple, pupiless eyes and a shy smile.

"Ah, Hinata-chan!" Kiara cried, helping Hinata stand. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, Kiara-chan, I was lying in the middle of the path!" Hinata insisted, her voice light and breathy.

"Hina-chan, are you the Fawn?" Kaze asked suddenly. Hinata looked up at Kaze, smiling slightly and nodding. That's when Kiara noticed tiny fawn ears on Hinata's head and a short tail sticking out a hole the long white dress she was wearing. Her feet were bare on the ground.

"You were changed also," Hinata said to the three, noticing Sai in a tree opposite Kaze. "It's like _Alice in Wonderland_, but I ended up being such a minor character!"

Kaze smiled at Hinata reassuringly. "Not minor, the fawn traveled with Alice, even briefly, and you seem to have kept your mind because of it!" She said, a rabbit ear twitching. She turned to her right. "This way," she commanded, jumping off. Kiara grabbed Hinata's hand and pulled her along as she followed Kaze.

"Quit trying to get me to drink tea, Kiba!" An angry voice rang out ahead of them.

"Tea is good for you, Hatter," a calmer voice insisted.

"Yea! And my name isn't Kiba, I'm Doormouse!" Kiba's voice slurred loudly.

"Oh, dear," Hinata whispered. "Kiba and Shino are here, I forgot!" She and Kiara hurriedly caught up with Kaze, who was standing dumbfounded next to a clearing.

Three boys sat around a rectangular table with tea kettles and teacups and hats scattered across it. One boy had spiky brown hair and red fangs painted on his face. He had half-lidded brown eyes and big mouse ears on his head. A mouse tail appeared next to him, attached, and a small top hat on the top of his head. He had a suit on and looked quite drunk. "Kiba-san, what is wrong with you?" Hinata whispered, shaking her head.

Another of the boys had gray bunny ears sticking out of his own top hat and black, round glasses over his nose, covering his eyes. Dark hair poked out form under the top hat, and he too wore a suit, his in light blue. "Ah, Shino!" Kaze muttered, almost laughing.

The third boy had spiky black hair sticking out from a flashier top hat with a card that said "10/6." He wore a suit also, and, like the other two, his suit was patched in more places than thought possible with many different colors and he had black eyes. He was pale and obviously angry. "And... Sasuke," Kiara muttered, giggling.

"Oh, please, whoever put us in this, please give me a camera!" Kaze asked the sky silently. Surprisingly, a camera fell into her hand and she wasted no time in snapping a picture of the boys and even one of Kiara and Hinata. The boys saw the flash and turned towards the newcomers.

When Kiara saw their eyes, she noticed that each boy's eyes looked slightly unfocused, but when they saw Kaze and Kiara, their eyes snapped open wide, focusing on the two girls. Kaze and turned to take a picture of Kiara when the boys noticed them and so each boy got a good view of her bunny tail, bare stomach and white rabbit ears, along with Kiara's short, skin-tight dress, huge bust, and the skin above her knee-high socks.

"Oh..." Sasuke muttered, eyes wide, staring at his two friends.

"My..." Shino agreed, his glasses slipping down his nose and his bright blue eyes looking the girls up and down.

"Whoa..." Kiba whispered, focusing mostly on Kiara, but having spared a moment of shock at Kaze.

Kiara blushed darkly, trying again to pull her dress down and up at the same time. Kaze blushed slightly, all her exposed skin flushing pink.

"I didn't know your stomach turns pink when you blush, Kaze," Shino teased, standing in front of his best friend.

"Shut up," Kaze muttered, looking away.

"Is that... Leather?" Sasuke asked incredulously, his eyes roving down Kaze's pants and back up to her face, stopping for a moment on her exposed, slightly pink, stomach.

"S-stop staring!" Kaze ordered, stuttering again in embarrassment.

"Kami-san... You're a girl!" Kiba exclaimed, tearing his eyes away from Kiara for a moment to look Kaze over. "And... A cute one! I didn't know!" Sarcastic shock slipped into his voice, causing Kaze to blush darker, somewhat from annoyance, but mostly from embarrassment.

"Y-yes! I am a g-girl!" Kaze yelled, stuttering slightly. "But at least most of my skin is c-covered! L-look at K-Kia!" She waved at her friend before turning from the boys and jumping into a tree.

"Cute tail, Kaze!" Shino called as Kiba and Sasuke broke into hysterical laughter.

"Sh-shut up, Sh-Shino!" Kaze yelled back, hiding in the tree. The three boys then turned to Kiara.

"You are showing more skin than Kaze-chan, Kiara-chan," Sasuke pointed out. Kiara blushed slightly, crossing her arms above her chest.

"And you look as if you've increased your bust size," Shino noted.

"Buh... Y-yo.... ah...." Kiba stuttered, waving his arms around uselessly.

Shino laughed as Kiara raised an eyebrow at Kiba. "That's flustered boy-speak for 'You look really nice,'" Shino translated. Kiara blushed even darker, mumbling out a "Thank you" as Hinata giggled and Sai looked on in confusion.

"She looks like the cover of one of those magazines Kakashi-san buys," he spoke up. Sasuke started laughing again as Kiara blushed dark once more. "And her bust rival's Tsunade-sama's," he continued, oblivious to Kiara's rising anger. Shino began laughing again and Sasuke had to hold a tree to keep standing. Kiara punched Sai in the stomach and turned away.

"Does anyone know what's going on?" She asked angrily, still turned away from the boys.

The boys finally stopped laughing, looking at each other. "I... Don't know," Sasuke said in surprise. "Where's my team?" He looked around.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a short one. I was feeling fairly uninspired during this, so it may... Suck. Or make you cringe which is kind of what I want. Fair warning. And if anyone can figure out who Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are before I add the next chapter will get... Praise. Sorry, that's all I can give! Anywho, review please!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Alice in Wonderland, though I'm starting to really want to. Who knows what I could make these characters do! *Grins evilly***

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"I don't know where your team is, but I think I found someone else," Kaze called, and Kiara looked up to see her friend sitting tensely on a tree branch, rabbit ears quivering but facing one direction.

Shino started laughing again and Kaze looked down at him in annoyance, her body relaxing. "What?" She snapped.

"You looked so serious! It was cute!" He laughed.

Kaze rolled her eyes and jumped away. Kiara sighed, but ran after her as Sai disappeared to follow in his way. The others followed quickly, not understanding, but not wanting to lose sight of Kiara.

The group had finally reached another clearing. "Kaze-sama, what-" Kiara began, gasping for air, before she froze. The others reached her and froze also, jaws dropping, Shino's glasses slipping down his nose once more. Kiara saw out of the corner of her eye Kaze and Sai laughing not too far away, but Kiara was focused in shock on the scene in front of her.

A group of four people stood in front of them. Three girls stood back, each shaking her head in embarrassment. One had black hair and red eyes, looking to be about Anko's age, but much more gentle than Anko. She was wearing green spandex and had red rose flower petals around her neck and wrists, looking very pretty and delicate.

Next to her were two girls, one Kiara's age, one just a bit older. The one Kiara's age had blue eyes and long blonde hair back in a ponytail with one chunk in front of her face trying to pass as bangs. She was dressed like the older woman, but with daisy petals. The other girl had brown eyes and a brown bun on each side of her head. She looked the most disgusted out of the three girls, even in her delicate morning glory flower outfit. Each girls' eyes were completely clear and focused on the scene in front of them.

One man stood between the flowered girls and the new comers. He, too, wore green spandex and pink cherry blossom petals. However, he was posing and smiling hugely at the new comers. He had black eyes, huge, bushy, black eyebrows and bowl cut black hair.

"Ah!" Kiara screamed, finally covering her eyes. "Gai, put some clothes on!" Kaze and Sai howled with laughter as Kaze took a picture of the scene, taking in the horrified expressions of the newcomers.

"It's like a train wreck," Kiba groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"You just can't look away," Shino finished, gagging and pushing his glasses up his nose.

"What is he supposed to be?" Kiara screamed, still covering her eyes.

Kaze, still laughing, managed to choked out, "They're the talking flowers!" Gai's eyes were still unfocused as he broke out into song.

The girl with the brown buns groaned. "Tenten, are you all okay?" Kiara asked her; the girl nodded.

"I believe that we only kept out sanity because Gai is so... Flamboyant," the older woman explained, trying to ignore the singing man.

"Kurenai-sensei," Hinata breathed. "I am glad you are okay!"

"You, too, Hinata-chan!" Kurenai smiled.

"Sasuke-kun!" The blonde-haired woman screamed, attempting to tackle Sasuke. Kaze grabbed the back of her green spandex and held her still.

"Now, now, Ino-chan," Kaze chided, whiskers twitching. "Flowers don't attack the Mad Hatter."

Ino looked around at Kaze and took in her outfit. "Are you a rabbit wearing leather?" Ino asked incredulously.

Kaze's bunny ears twitched in annoyance. "Yes!" She yelled, letting Ino go to throw a small fit. "Yes I am a rabbit in leather. GET YOUR GIGGLES OUT NOW!" She roared, looking very non-threatening with her bunny ears, tail, and whiskers. Kiara had grabbed the camera from her and snapped a picture when Kaze calmed down.

Immediately, Kaze's ear twitched in annoyance again. "Kia!" She whined, stealing the camera back to stave off further embarrassment. "Gah! It doesn't erase! How is that possible!" Kaze frowned unhappily until she realized that Gai was still singing at the top of his lungs. She walked over to him and punched the back of his head, sending him flying to the ground.

Gai stood up quickly, holding his head, his eyes clear and focused. "Kaze-chan, why would you do that?" He complained pouting like a four-year-old. Then he looked down at himself. "What am I wearing?"

"You were annoying and I think you're a flower. Shouldn't feel too different from what you normally wear, right?" Kaze replied. Gai moved around a bit, making everyone gag and turn away.

"I LIKE IT!" He finally roared, flashing a thumb's up sign and grinning.

Kaze shrugged and jumped off. "C'mon!" She called behind her. "Follow the White Rabbit!" The other's looked at each other in confusion before Sai and Kiara began to run, followed by everyone else.

"Who'd you find now?" Kiara shouted to Kaze jumping in the trees above her.

"Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum!" Kaze shouted back, pausing for just a moment to listen before bounding off again. "Naruto and Lee?" Sasuke panted, keeping up with Kiara. Kaze laughed loudly.

"Close!" She called as they ran.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well... No one reviewed, but that's fine. I'll put this one up anyway! Enjoy! Out of character Neji. And the riddle I did not come up with. It was in a book that I read. So, it's not mine. Sorry, not that clever. Eh heh...**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto and the characters, nor Alice in Wonderland.**

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Kiara had been expecting Kaze to stop at a clearing, but before one was in sight, Kaze appeared in front of her. Kiara tripped trying to stop and ran right into Kaze; they both fell to the ground as everyone else slowed to a stop. "Sorry, Kaze-sama!" Kiara cried, jumping up quickly.

"'S fine, Kia," Kaze replied, standing up also and dusting herself off. "Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are right over there." She pointed through some trees and Kiara saw two boys in sailor suits, arguing.

"Lee and NEJI!" Kiara laughed. "Neji is Tweedle Dee?"

"He might be Tweedle Dum," Kaze replied, amuse. "I never could tell the difference between the two characters."

"Nii-san is Tweedle Dum?" Hinata asked, giggling. The others started laughing also, watching Neji and Lee.

They were both older boys on Gai's team. Neji was a Hyuga, with long, dark hair, and pupil less gray-purple eyes. He was fairly level headed unless he was talking to Gai or Lee; both seemed to annoy him senseless. Lee had no Nunjutsu abilities, so he wore weights on his legs like Kaze did, but he didn't wear as much. He normally wore green like Gai, and looked very much like a mini-version of his sensei with the same bowl cut hair and slightly less bushy eyebrows.

"Gai-sensei, I think your other teammates would like to talk to you," Kaze said, giggleing. Gai smiled widely at her, struck his thumb's up pose, causing her to wince, and skipped off to his teammates.

The group heard Neji screaming once he caught sight of Gai. He crashed through the trees and into Kaze's waiting arms. "Ugh, it was awful!" He wined, burying his face into her shoulder as she patted his back soothingly. "Those are tighter than his regular clothes! What kind of sick monster is behind all this?" Kaze laughed slightly as he continued ranting about his former teacher. Kiara sneakily took a picture of the two, then one of Gai and Lee, who was also back to normal and talking about how 'free' Gai looked in his new tighter spandex.

Suddenly, Neji paused his rant, lifting his head off Kaze's shoulder and looking her over. "Are you..?" he began, looking her up and down. "Wearing leather? And bunny ears! Whiskers, fluffy tail! STOMACH!" He finished in shock.

Kaze sighed, blushing again. "Yes, Neji-sama. Leather, bunny ears, whiskers, tail and stomach," she answered, waving at each item in question.

Neji stared at her for a moment. "I didn't know you stomach turns pink when you blush," he said, studying her stomach. Kaze flared red and bound away as Shino, Sai, and Sasuke burst into laughter again.

"Sh-shut up, guys! We're still m-missing people!" Kaze called, stuttering in her embarrassment. Kiara sighed, waving at the others to follow as she ran off again.

"Who are we still missing?" Lee asked, keeping up with Kaze without his own weights. He looked back to see Tenten, Neji, and Gai, his entire team, was present.

"Kashi-sensei, Naru-san, Saku-chan, Ruka-sensei, Anko-san, Cho-kun, and-" She paused, hearing a voice, and groaned. "Shika-kun," she finished, sighing. She then turned back to the group fighting to keep up. Gai seemed to be enjoying himself, but everyone else was finding it hard to keep running without the use of chakra. She then called to Kiara, "Shika-kun is next! Just ahead!" before veering out of sight.

Kiara huffed as Kaze left her line of vision. "Who do you think Shikamaru-san ended up being?" Sasuke asked from her left side. Kiara shrugged.

"I haven't read this book, I'm just stuck in it," she grumbled, looking away.

"Understanding Shikamaru-kun's nature," Hinata piped up, keeping up with Kiara easily, "I'd have to say Humpty Dumpty."

"Didn't he fall off a wall?" Ino asked from behind them, breathless.

"In the nursery rhyme, he did," Hinata answered, her breath even. "But in _Alice in Wonderland_ he was a master of words. He annoyed and confused Alice when she met him and would let her pass. But he did eventually fall off the wall, laughing at Alice, I think."

"Yup, sounds like Shikamaru," Ino affirmed. "But he might not have fallen completely under the jutsu," she continued hopefully.

"Maybe," Shino replied, less enthusiastically.

The group left the forest and realized they had happened onto a road. A large brick wall rose out of the ground to their right, stretching on out of their line of vision. The group followed the wall slowly, some running their hands along it.

"Seems you were right, Hinata-chan," Kiba muttered. "If this wall is any clue, Shikamaru is Humpty Dumpty."

They finally saw a boy in pants and a vest sitting on top of the wall. "Seems Shika-kun could also keep his clothes," Kiara said, snapping a picture of the boy high above them. He was the same age as Kiara with dark hair pulled back in a spiky ponytail and brown eyes. He looked completely bored and was staring up at the clouds lazily.

"Shikamaru-kun!" Ino called, waving. Shikamaru looked around, then down at them.

"Hello, travelers!" He called back in a bored voice. "Who are you looking for?"

Kiara groaned. "He's gone," she announced. "How should we bring him back?"

"Well, how you and Kaze-chan were dressed caught our attention," Sasuke reminded her.

"He can obviously see how I'm dressed," Kiara replied, annoyed. "From up there, he can see right down my top."

"Ah," Kiba nodded unhappily.

"And he can see Gai," Neji said, shuddering as Gai posed again.

"Would you like to hear a riddle?" Shikamaru called, tired of their bickering. "If you answer three questions correctly, you may pass!"

Kiara sighed. "May we all answer?" She asked him.

"It may be a group effort," Shikamaru relented.

"Very well, give us your riddles, Humpty Dumpty," Kiara yelled up at him. Shikamaru nodded.

"If I told you I would give you a chance to decide how you die and said that if you told a lie I would cut off your head and if you told the truth I would snap your neck, what would your final statement be to make sure you stayed alive?" Shikamaru called out clearly.

Kiara paled, running through the riddle in her mind. "Uh... I don't know," she whispered to the others.

"You are allowed one hint per riddle," Shikamaru added, staring back up at the clouds.

"Well, obviously, the answer is both a lie and a truth," Neji stated.

"Great, but what does that mean?" Ten-ten asked, racking her brain.

"This is making my head hurt," Kiba whined, holding his head in his hands.

"Kaze-sama would know," Kiara said. "Where did she go?"

"I lost sight of her when she ran off," Lee announced, saluting.

"We'll just have to do without her for this one," Shino sighed. "So let's think about this again."

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**Try to figure it out? Review? Please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Shikamaru's second riddle is not one that I came up with. I was reading FastForward's fanfiction, and she had it in her "The Challange" fic-ish thing. So... Go there! And read it! Cause it's way funny! Anywho, she didn't come up with it herself, so I hope she doesn't mind that I was a copy-cat. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own them, only Kaze. And she wants Shikamaru.**

* * *

"If we tell a lie, he cuts our heads off," Sasuke began.

"And if we tell a truth, he snaps our necks," Neji finished.

"Then how about we say," Sai piped up, "'You will cut our heads off.'" Everyone looked at him in confusion. He squirmed under the gazes and continued quickly, "If we say that he will and it's a lie, he does cut our heads off and it becomes true, but if it's true, he snaps our necks and it becomes a lie. It's a circle."

"That's brilliant," Kiara muttered, slightly disturbed. "I didn't know you were that smart."

"Oh, I'm not," Sai answered, flashing his fake smile at her. "Kaze-cha made me read a book and it had that riddle in it." A chorus of "ah"s was let out at this revelation and Kiara turned towards Shikamaru and cleared her throat.

"Give me your answer," he called lazily down.

"You will... Cut our heads off," Kiara shouted, pausing momentarily to make sure she remembered what she was supposed to say.

Shikamaru looked down at them for a moment, contemplating their answer before he sighed. "Very good," he announced. The group breathed a sigh of relief as he continued, "Next is a common 9-letter English word where if you remove one letter at a time all the way down until the last letter it creates eight additional English words. Tell me the 9-letter word."

The group looked at Sai, but he shrugged. "A 9-letter English word?" Kiara asked. "What was the rest?"

"If you remove one letter it creates an eight-letter English word," Sasuke answered. "Wait... I think I've heard this one.'

Neji nodded. "I have, too. What was the word...?" Both boys fell silent for a moment as they thought.

Suddenly, both boys' eyes lit up and they said at the same time, "Startling!"

"What?" Ino asked.

"The word is 'startling,'" Shino replied calmly. "If you remove one letter it creates the word 'staring.'"

"Then another and it makes 'string,'" Sasuke continued. "Then 'sting.'"

"Another letter gets 'sing', another is 'sin,'" Neji followed.

"Then 'in' and 'I?'" Kiara asked. The boys nodded. "Oh, I think Kaze mentioned that once.

"You are correct," Shikamaru called from the wall, startling (haha) the group on the ground. "The last one isn't so much a riddle as it is a simple question," Shikamaru continued. "What do the numbers on Hatter's hat mean?"

The group turned to look at Sasuke. "What?" He asked, having forgotten that he was the Mad Hatter.

Kiara sighed and pulled the hat form his head, looking at the card on it intently. "It says ten-sixths, or ten over six," Kiara muttered, showing the card to everyone.

"I don't know what that means, it was just on my head," Sasuke stated defensively.

"We know, Sasuke-kun," Ino purred, clutching his arm. "I don't blame you!" Sasuke's eye twitched slightly as he disentangled himself from the blonde.

The group continued talking, passing the hat around, sometimes repeating previous suggestions, but not quite deciding. Kiara heard an unmistakable "tsk" of annoyance and she turned to see Kaze land on the wall.

"It's the price," she called out to Shikamaru. Shikamaru turned his head towards the newcomer lazily, still as Humpty Dumpty, before his eyes opened wide. Kaze had stood and was walking carefully towards him. "The Mad Hatter was always just an eccentric salesman, so even the hat on his head was meant to be sold. The numbers are expressed as 'ten-and-six' and basically mean the hat would cost ten shillings and six pennies. Also known as half-a-guinnea."

"Helloooo, White Rabbit," Shikamaru whistled in response. Kaze blushed hotly, making sure to wrap her arms around her stomach to hide its pink tinge. "What am I doing on this wall?" He asked, tearing his eyes away from Kaze to assess his situation.

"You are Humpty Dumpty in an _Alice in Wonderland_ book," Kiara called from the ground. "And don't fall!"

"Then how am I supposed to get off this wall?" Shikamaru muttered. Suddenly, Kaze was next to him.

Kiara quickly snapped a few pictures of the two together. "Here, let me help, Shika-kun," Kaze offered, wrapping one arm around his waist and jumping off the wall. They landed safely on the ground and Kaze moved away quickly to take the camera away from Kiara before she had any more pictures taken.

"How did you get this back from me?" Kaze asked, tucking the camera into a jacket pocket.

"You dropped it when you ran away," Kiara answered innocently. Kaze eyed here before sighing and turning away.

"Well, whatever, we still have a few more people to find in here," Kaze muttered.

"What's that smoke?" Sai asked, having appeared on top of the wall and pointing towards another forest.

Kaze joined him on the wall and squinted in the direction he was pointing. Different colored smoke rose out of the trees. "I think that's our next ninja," Kaze replied, heading off in the direction of the smoke.

The others followed as fast as they could in order to keep her in their sights, most still tired from all the previous running. "Why are we running?" Shikamaru asked unhappily.

"I think Kaze wants to be out of those clothes as soon as possible," Shino snickered."

"She's kind of cute," Neji admitted, blushing slightly.

Shino sighed. "As her best friend I have to remind you all that she was always cute, you just hadn't noticed it before," he stated.

"They are both dressed in... Very different clothes," Sasuke reminded him, nodding towards Kiara running in front of them to include her. He snickered as she tripped and her dress flipped up, showing frilly pink underwear. "Normally they wear clothes that actually cover them."

"Kiara-san looks really good in a mini-dress," Kiba muttered, blushing from the sight of her underwear. The other boys laughed at his embarrassment.

Kiara stopped when they reached a forest of huge mushrooms, the others stopping also. "Where are we now?" Kiara groaned, looking around for Kaze.


	7. Chapter 7

**This one's really short, sorry. I was having some major trouble finding the perfect way to represent Kakashi as a Caterpillar... Really hard time. So, this is what happened. Enjoy! Review please!**

**Disclaimer: And they are still not mine! But Kaze's changed her mind: she wants Shino instead. Even if she is afraid of bugs.**

* * *

"We are at the mushrooms where the Caterpillar lives," Hinata answered quietly. "The caterpillar gave Alice advice and corrected her language."

The group heard giggling some feet away from them as Kaze dropped down beside Kiara. "I think it is Kashi-sensei," she said. Sasuke groaned, understanding what the giggling was. "And he has his book," Kaze finished, confirming Sasuke's suspicions.

"Well, let's go," he sighed, heading off in the direction of the giggling sounds. "We may need Gai for this one, too."

They reached a rather large, spotted mushroom and found Kakashi. He also seemed to be able to keep his normal clothes, with his jacket, pants, sandals and mask. The mask covered the lower half of his face while his headband, standard navy blue with a metal plate engraved with a leaf, covered one eye. White spiky hair stuck straight up on his head and he was reading a small orange book, laughing occasionally, and multi-colored smoke pouring from his mouth with every sound. Kaze took a picture quickly as smoke billowed from his mouth. Kiara saw that his visible blue eye was clouded and unfocused, which explained why the normally calm jounin was giggling madly about his book.

"Kashi-sensei!" Kaze called, trying to get the man's attention. Kakashi ignored her, still giggling about his book.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke yelled, standing next to Kaze. Kakashi finally looked up at the two, looked behind him in confusion, then turned back to his two former students.

"WHO are YOU?" He asked, blowing purple and red smoke at them with his question.

Kaze and Sasuke coughed, waving the smoke away. Kakashi kept talking to them, blowing multi-colored smoke into their faces with every word.

"That's it," Kaze muttered, stomping over to Gai. As everyone watched, she pulled Gai out in front of the group and asked him to pose as outrageously as he could for Kakashi.

"I would be honored!" Gai shouted, posing in front of Kakashi. Kakashi looked up from his book, caught sight of Gai in his outfit, posing especially for Kakashi, and gagged, his eye clearing.

"Oh, gross! Why would you dress like that?" Kakashi shouted, clapping his hand over his visible eye and dropping his book in the process. Kaze managed to take another picture of Kakashi and Gai together, just managing not to gag herself. "Put some clothes on, Gai! That's disgusting!" Kaze started laughing loudly while the others in the group cringed openly. Lee shouted encouragement to Gai, giving him a thumbs up sign.

"Hello, Kashi-sensei!" Kaze called, still laughing. "Do you know where Naruto and Sakura are?"

Kakashi managed to pick his book back up and get around Gai before looking around the group. "They aren't with you, Sasuke-kun?" He asked, eyebrow scrunching into his forehead in a frown.

"Obviously not," Sasuke muttered, crossing his arms. "We haven't found them yet, but all of Gai's team and Kurenai's teams are both here."

"We lost Anko on the way in," Kiara piped up, indicating she, Kaze, and Sai, the latter currently disappearing experimentally.

"Is he disappearing?" Kakashi asked Sasuke and Kaze.

Kaze nodded while Sasuke looked at Sai in confusion. "He's the Cheshire Cat. It's what he does," Kaze explained, waving smoke still coming from Kakashi's mouth out of her face

"And I'm blowing out smoke because…?" Kakashi asked, just realizing his situation.

"You are the Caterpillar, who smoked a…" Kaze began, thinking hard. "What was it… A hookah or something?" She shrugged. "Either way, multi-colored smoke will be coming from your mouth in waves until we get out of this."

"And you're a rabbit in leather?" Kakashi asked, finally noticing what his former student was wearing. "You're a hat salesman," He pointed to Sasuke in amusement before turning back to Kiara, who was still explaining what she knew about the situation. "And poor Kiara-chan looks like her bust has grown three sizes in that little dress," he finished, snickering.

"And Kaze-sama hasn't heard-" Kiara was saying, not having noticed the three's exchange.

An angry yell rang out in the forest, cutting off Kiara's explanation, causing Kaze and Shino to grab their rabbit ears. Sai winced slightly, reappearing fully and managing to keep himself from holding his cat ears. Kiba's mouse ears folded slightly and Hinata's fawn ears quivered. "What was that?" Neji asked, concerned.

"I think Anko," Kaze muttered, shuddering. "And I have a strong feeling that she's drunk." The group headed toward the yelling warily, soon realizing that the words being shouted didn't actually have a meaning.

"Yup, drunk," Kakashi affirmed as they walked out into an overgrown garden with the front of a white castle off to the side. Anko was standing in the middle of the garden, swinging a pan and a dough roller, and yelling at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were clouded and her face red, a sign of some excessive drinking. She was wearing a dark poufy dress with a white apron over it, and a crumpled cook hat on her head.

"What is she?" Shino asked Kaze, watching Anko spin drunkenly.

"The cook, I think," Kaze replied, taking a picture of Anko. "But I'm not so sure the cook was drunk."

"That may have been the only way to get her to act like that," Kiba muttered.

Kaze sighed and ran up to the older woman before hitting the back of her head. Anko fell to the ground, unconscious. "Kaze-chan, you do know you're not supposed to hit a drunk, right?" Kakashi asked teasingly, picking Anko up and slinging her onto his back.

"Eh, whatever," Kaze shrugged as the group made their way to the castle. "At least she didn't try to attack us in a drunken stupor."


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow... Did it take me a long time to load all this or what? Meh, hope no one is too bummed, but at least I'd finished the whole thing. Erm.. Did I ever mention that I don't have a beta? Urgh... I feel like I should have. Anywho, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own!**

* * *

"What do you think is in this castle?" Ino asked, changing the subject and pointing to the white castle. "It looks important, though sadly underused."

"I think the White Queen is in there," Hinata answered. "But the only female we're missing is Sakura-san, and I never imagined her to be the White Queen."

"What do you mean?" Ino asked.

"The White Queen was lazy and fat," Shikamaru explained lazily, putting his hands in his pockets. "She wasn't too bright or strong either. After hearing what's been going on I thought Sakura would be the Red Queen, since it's more like her attitude."

Kaze nodded, listening to the castle intently. "It is possible that there is no White Queen," Kaze said, rabbit ears quivering in her concentration. "There are some characters that are in the books, but not in here; chances are whoever decided this hadn't actually read the book-"

"But was listening to descriptions of the characters someone gave them," Shikamaru interrupted, groaning and hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Why didn't I see this coming?" He muttered, sighing and returning to his indifferent attitude.

"What do you mean, Shikamaru-kun?" Ino asked, wincing in sympathy at the already red palm print on her teammate's forehead.

"I figured it out," he answered, sighing. "So troublesome, but at least I think I know who the White Queen is," he finished, watching Kaze pull the large doors open.

When the group saw the White Queen, Ino burst into hysterical laughter, catching herself on the wall to keep from falling over. Sitting at a long table in front of them was Choji, stuffing his face. This was a familiar sight for everyone, but the orange-haired boy was wearing a huge white dress with a petite tiara perched precariously atop his head. Kaze snickered, taking a few pictures of him as Kiara checked to see if his black eyes were clouded over.

"And, there he is," Shikamaru sighed, waving his hand in the direction of his friend and teammate. "The White Queen is poor Choji."

Kaze wound up her arm to punch Choji, but Shikamaru stood in front of her. "Let me," he said, waving her off and moving to stand near Choji. "Hey, Choji, Naruto called you fat again," Shikamaru said calmly. As everyone watched, Choji's eyes cleared instantly of the jutsu and was replaced by red as he began to roar, throwing food everywhere.

"I AM NOT FAT!" He yelled, stomping.

Kaze snickered and stood in front of him with her hands raised in a calming motion. "Hey, Cho-kun, what's going on?" She asked, smiling widely at him. Choji immediately calmed down at the sight of Kaze.

"Oh, nothing, Kaze-chan!" He answered, laughing. Then he realized that he was wearing a dress, Kaze had bunny ears and leather, and Kiara was wearing a very short dress. "Whoa, what is going on!" He panicked, trying to pull the dress off himself while averting his eyes from Kaze and Kiara. "Why can I see your skin?"

Kaze sighed, wrapping her arms around her stomach while Kiara tried again to stretch to dress to cover her more completely. "I'm pretty sure someone is messing with us," Kaze said. "They stuck us in this twisted version of _Alice in Wonderland_ and made Kia and I look like we just jumped out of a cosplay _Playboy_ magazine."

Choji looked closer at Kaze and Kiara, giving up on his dress. "You look good," he said to them both, grinning. The girls sighed, still trying to cover themselves.

"So, now we're only missing Iruka-sensei, Naruto-kun, and Sakura-chan," Kiara said, still blushing. "Right?" Shikamaru nodded in agreement, still eyeing Choji warily, as if afraid he might snap again.

"I hear a horse," Sai said flatly, looking out the large doors into the garden.

"So do I," Shino affirmed as Kaze nodded and jumped to one of the high windows to look outside. "What is it?" Shino called up to her.

"It's a horse," Kaze answered. "Someone is riding on it?" She sounded uncertain as she looked out the window. Suddenly she grinned widely. "Kia!" She called down. "So out and greet the knight!"

"Night?" Kiara asked the others. "Is it dark?" She warily made her way to the door and was nearly trampled, in the bright daylight, by a large white horse.

"Oh, no! Kiara-chan, I'm so sorry!" A man cried, jumping from the horse and kneeling next to Kiara. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? What are you wearing?"

Kiara jumped up quickly, hiding her frilly underwear as she heard a camera taking a picture. "Ah, I-Iruka-sensei!" She stuttered, blushing hotly. "Y-you're okay!"

Iruka laughed, smiling at his former pupil. His long brown hair was up in a ponytail and warm brown eyes smiled down at her. His skin was panned, the only visible blemish being the long scar that ran across the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, Kiara-chan, I'm fine," he laughed, patting Kiara on the head. Kiara's face turned a shade redder in her embarrassment. "I saw you all walk in just a moment ago from up on that hill and, since I guess I'm a knight, I rode this horse down. " He turned to the horse only to find it galloping away. Iruka laughed hesitantly. "But now it's gone!"

Kiara studied her former teacher and found that he was wearing silver armor and a royal blue cape. Kaze appeared next to Kiara, also eyeing Iruka. "You are fine, Ruka-sensei?" She asked. He turned to her and smiled warmly.

"Yes, Kaze-chan, I'm fine," he answered, looking around at the rest of the group. Kiara saw Kaze frown before she bound away.

"Ah, Kaze-sama!" Kiara called after her. "Where are you going now?"

"I heard shouting coming from over here!" Kaze called. "Let's go!" Everyone started running after her, quickly explaining what they knew to Iruka. They crashed through the forest, less agile than usual without the use of chakra, following a nimble Kaze, a flickering Sai, and a quick-footed Lee until they came upon yet another garden.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Don't own them.**

* * *

This garden had an excessive amount of red roses growing on every bush and tree. "What's with all the roses?" Tenten asked, looking around warily.

"We've finally made it to the home of the Red Queen," Kaze answered from the middle of the group, causing everyone to jump in surprise. She snickered at them, tossed the camera to Kiara, and jumped into one of the strange trees.

"What are you doing in my roses?" A girl shrieked from the middle of the garden. The group looked towards the voice to see a pink-haired girl about the age of 19, the same as Kiara, standing importantly in a gaudy red dress. She held a flamingo by the neck in her hand was glaring up at Kaze with angry, clouded green eyes. "Well? Answer me, rabbit!"

Kaze barked out a laugh before jumping out of the tree and landing in front of the other girl, her hands in her pockets. "Sorry, Sakura-chan," She said, faking an apologetic tone as Kiara took a few pictures. "I don't know what came over me!"

"N-now, dear, you shouldn't yell," a young man stuttered from behind Sakura. He had blonde spiky hair and shockingly blue eyes and was wearing a scruffy red suit. "Remember your blood pressure!"

"Shut up!" Sakura snapped at him. Kaze motioned for Kiara to throw her the camera and snapped a few pictures of the other two adolescents as they fought. "Can't you see this impetuous rabbit messed up my dear roses?"

"Impetuous?" Kaze snorted before looking around at the young man. "Hey, Naru-san, you're the Red King?" Naruto looked at her strangely, but nodded. Kaze studied him carefully for a moment before she laughed again. Wow, this is just too great! I'm impressed!" She said. "Kia, come here for a moment." Kiara complied, jogging to Kaze's side. "Don't hate me?" Kaze pleaded before she put her right hand on Kiara's left shoulder and her left hand on Kiara's left hip and bent her forcefully so Naruto got full view of her bust.

"K-Kaze!" Kiara shrieked, pulling away from her friend and straightening as Naruto's nose started bleeding forcefully. Kiara gasped as he fell into a dead faint on the ground. "Did I do that?" She asked warily.

"You!" Sakura roared, her eyes still clouded over. She pointed a finger accusingly at Kiara. "You are trying to steal my husband!" Kiara stuttered out an apology as Sakura accused her. Neither girl noticed Kaze slip away, looking around at the amused group of Shinobi behind them.

"Found you," she whispered into Sasuke's ear, who was trying to hide under his hat. He jumped before sending a pleading look at her, shaking his head desperately. Kaze grinned and pulled him with her back towards Sakura and Kiara.

"Do not lie to me!" Sakura was shouting. "Off with your-"

"Look, it's Sasuke!" Kaze shouted, pushing Sasuke out in front of her and pulling Kiara away.

Sakura's eyes cleared instantly as she squealed "Sasuke-kun!" and latched on to his arm. He glared unhappily at Kaze, who made sure to take plenty of pictures.

"I hate you, Kaze," he growled as Sakura purred into his arm and Ino shouted at her while grabbing his other arm. "I hate you so much." Kaze merely laughed, still taking pictures of him and everyone else while she was at it, and noticing that Naruto was waking up.

"What's going on?" He asked innocently, wiping blood from his face.

"Oh, don't pretend you don't know!" Kaze snapped, finally at the end of her patience. "You set this up, moron!"

A chorus of "what?" reached her ears from the group as Shikamaru nodded his head, muttering, "I knew it."

Naruto grinned up at Kaze. "How could I manage that?" He asked, tilting his head to the side in mock confusion. "I'm a moron!"

Kaze glared at him and he laughed nervously. "My guess is you got a few people to help you," she began. "Like that Konohamaru kid standing behind that wall over there!" She pointed accusing at said wall and Konohamaru stepped out from behind it.

He had a long scarf on and messy brown hair. His black eyes looked at Kaze guiltily and he was smiling, showing a gap in his teeth. "Sorry, Kaze-san, but when I heard about this, I just couldn't pass it up!" He said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"I don't think these two idiots could have done it themselves," Sasuke said, disentangling himself from the two girls with some difficulty. "I don't believe for a second that these two, even with combined efforts, could keep up a jutsu this complex by themselves."

"Besides, Naruto was under it, too!" Ino said, giving up on Sasuke for the moment.

"No, he wasn't," Kaze said. "Right, Naruto?" She growled menacingly, glaring sideways at him as he tried to make his escape.

"R-right," Naruto agreed, standing still. "I knew everything that was going on, and I was myself with you guys found us."

"He still couldn't have managed all this," Neji said, tapping his lower lip thoughtfully. "He'd have needed some help from someone far more experienced."

A yelp sounded from the back of the group and a moment later, Kakashi walked out in front of everyone, holding a guilty-looking Iruka our in front of him. "That was good, Sensei," Kakashi said, holding the younger man up to his face. "You always were a prankster at heart, weren't you?"

Iruka laughed hesitantly, all eyes on him. "Ah... Well..." He said, biting his lower lip. "Uh, April Fool's?" Kaze hit her head with her palm in frustration.


	10. Chapter 10

"So, let me get this straight... There wasn't a missing-nin?" Tsunade asked, eyeing the group. They'd hurried home in their _Alice in Wonderland_ clothes, carrying their original clothes that Konohamaru had kept hidden.

"Yes, ma'am," Kiara and Sakura answered simultaneously, sighing. Kaze was ignoring Tsunade, massaging her still-stinging forhead.

"And it was all a joke set up by these three?" Tsunade continued, waving at the three captives on the floor in front of her. Kiara, Kaze, Sakura, and Ino had all hit Naruto and Konohamaru as soon as the jutsu had been released and they regained use of their chakra, so the two boys were still unconscious, lying on the floor. Iruka hadn't been harmed, but the other teachers had tied him up and gagged him.

"Yes, ma'am," the two girls replied with another sigh.

"As an April Fool's joke?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And you still have on the clothes because...?" Tsunade finally asked, eyeing Sakura and Kiara's dresses and Kaze's stomach.

"Apparently, their real," Kaze muttered, finally pulling the rabbit tail from her backside and the ears from her head. "They'd somehow made the jutsu physically change our clothes and temporarily add animal body parts by using these cosplay items," Kaze explained, showing the items to Tsunade. She eyed the, but didn't touch them.

"And you intend to keep the clothes?" Tsunade asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No way!" Kiara and Sakura yelled. Tsunade looked behind Kaze, who nodded secretly.

"You also have pictures of everyone in their outfits, right?" Tsunade asked, directing her question to Kaze.

Kaze nodded, but Kiara answered verbally, "There are a lot more pictures that I'd expected, but they are all currently hidden between mine and Kaze's computers."

"Good," Tsunade said, nodding. "I want copies of them all." Kiara and Sakura tripped and fell to the ground on their way out at that, while Kaze pulled out a stack she'd hidden in her jacket and handed them to Tsunade.


End file.
